Have you ever felt like you were stuck in life by some unknown force, and no matter how much you try… you’re still stuck? Well, I have. Truth is, the most challenging events in our lives are those inner battles that we fight against our own selves.

I realized the hard way that if I wanted to be successful in all areas of my life… I had to do a deep self-examination, instead of wasting my time on negative actions, negative thinking and the pain of negative results.

Like many people in life… I wanted to be wildly successful, and I thought that only a few lucky people in the world were able to enjoy great lives full of abundance. I was so wrong! I soon realized that all my results were directly caused by my own decisions, my attitude, my actions, my thoughts, etc. This is something that many people are not ready to accept and confront. Why? Keep on reading and you will find the answer.

Ego will render you broke for the rest of your life. Ego says, “That is not me” or “Gosh, I would never do a business like that” or “What would my friends think if I was doing something like that?”

Ego says it is everybody else’s fault and takes no responsibility. Ego focuses on everybody else’s failures and not your own. Ego wants somebody else to pay for how you feel and somebody else to admit they were wrong.

Ego comes in all sorts of forms. Shyness is a form of ego because if you use your personality as an excuse for not being what you should be, that is ego. Being a fake and caring about other people’s opinions is ego. You will never be happy with your success if it is all about beating someone else’s success.

The ego is all about self-condemnation and self-criticism, or the criticism and condemnation of others. It just makes you incredibly unsafe. Ego does not cause people to want to work with you, and it does not cause people to trust or refer you. It only causes people to stay away from you.

Ego comes in many disguises. You may not think you have an ego, but see if you recognize any of its masks listed here:

1. The Blame Ego loves to play the blame game for its lack of results. This ego says, “It is their fault. It is my spouse’s fault. It is my boss’s fault. It is the economy’s fault. It is the White House’s fault.”

2. The Know-It-All Ego says, “I already know this stuff. I can do it better. When are you going to get to the real content?”

3. The Fearful Ego loves to speak fear. “What if I say the wrong thing? What if I do the wrong thing? What if I make a mistake?”

4. The Comfort Zone Ego says, “Okay, we are good. We are happy with the way things are. It is not really what I want, but it is okay.” Staying in the comfort zone is not going to help you or anybody else.

5. The Self-Righteous Ego says, “Oh, my goodness. I never talk like that. I thought you were a godly person. Oh, you should not wear clothes like that.” Self-righteous egos do not associate with people of certain colors or certain races or of certain creeds. This is someone who puffs up him or herself as better than those who do not go to church.

But the last time I checked, Jesus did not have a problem with the tax collectors, prostitutes, or liars. He loved them. He did have a problem with the self-righteous, though, which includes the Pharisees who hung him on the cross.

6. The Judgmental Ego is constantly judging everybody else. “Oh, my gosh, I bet Ricky Figueroa has ulterior motives. Oh, he thinks he is so hot. He thinks he knows it all. He is really not that great. He is only in this for the money.”

You should not be judgmental about rich people, because how do you know how they live? Maybe that rich person you are judging lives a simple life and spends very little on personal items so he or she can give more to the needy. So watch yourself – he who judges will be judged in the same way he judges.

Judgment will never help you make money, keep it, or make it your slave. It will never pay your bills or create the wealth you want to pass down to your family. It will never help you to become an influential person who is benefiting the lives of others around you.

7. The False Humility Ego says, “Oh, really, no. It is not me… I, uh, no. It’s all Jesus.” False humility is just pride and an act. Real humility comes from the heart. It emanates naturally when you are truly humble. And remember, humble does not mean quiet and shy – the righteous is as bold as a lion.

8. The Excuses Ego loves to just pick excuses instead of getting results:

“We cannot afford that, I do not know how I am going to do it. Oh, gosh, I don’t feel ready; I will wait until things get better. It is not going to work for me anyway. It is too expensive and I do not have the time. I do not know the right people. I was not raised by the right parents. My husband does not support me. If only starting the business were cheaper. You know, this will require me to take time to learn and I just do not have the time. It is too hard anyway.”

9. The People Pleasing Ego tries to cover up its insecurities by constantly trying to keep everybody happy. These people are always willing to do things for others while sacrificing their own needs.

10. The Justification Ego says, “I grew up in Texas, and in Texas we just do not do things like that,” or “I got married and have these kids so that is just how life went,” or “I never wanted it anyway.”

11. The Defensive Ego is constantly defending its position. If you are defensive, you cannot win. If you are judgmental, you cannot win. Judgment and defensiveness go hand in hand.

12. Jealous Egos are envious in a bad way of other people’s success. These types of people cannot learn from successful people. If this is you, you are jealous of other people’s looks, you are jealous of the recognition they get, you are jealous of their accomplishments, you are jealous of the house in which they live, and you are jealous that they were selected for something and you did not.

You will never ever be able to win with that much jealousy, because it causes your heart to turn dark and hatred to fill up inside you. It causes you to be cynical and critical, which is another form of ego. It causes you to belittle other people. If people cannot trust you they do not want to be around you because they know that as soon as they leave you, you are going to speak ill of them.

13. The Fake Ego puts on airs. These people are different with every group of people they encounter. They believe in some things with some people, and then they believe in other things with other people. They try to put on airs of being someone they are not, hoping for acceptance.

14. The Shy Ego is one of my favorites. “Gosh, I am so shy! That is why I am not successful. I mean, you are so outgoing and bold – that is why you are successful.”

It doesn’t matter what your personality is – if you plant corn in the ground, it is going to come out corn. If a black farmer plants corn in the ground, what kind of corn does he get? He gets the same corn as the white guy gets. If you are shy, and you plant corn in the ground, what kind of corn do you reap? It is shy corn? NO, it is still corn. But shy people use their shyness as an excuse not to pursue success, which is nothing but an ego trip!

Making money is as simple as farming. The farmer knows that if he puts the right seed in the ground, he is going to reap what he put in the ground. What you put is what you get.

15. The Other People’s Opinion Ego always cares about others’ opinions. They live according to the opinions of those around them. Maybe your Aunt or a co-worker says, “No, you should not do that business. It is never going to work for you. I had a friend who did something like that in 1975 and he did not earn a cent. You should not do it.”

If you listen to the 99 percent of the people and their opinions about how to live your life, you will have what they have. Care about the opinions of those who have what you want, but do not listen to the opinions of those who do not have what you want.

16. The Sarcastic Ego speaks with mockery and sarcasm toward everyone around him or her. It says sarcastically, “Yeah, right!” But this ego is never ever fine. It does not make you trustworthy. It does not make anyone want to be around you. It does not make people want to do business with you.

If you are going to succeed in business, you have to become a person others want to be around, not a person others do not want to be around. And, no matter how funny or clever it may be, nobody – I do not care who you are – nobody likes sarcasm or mockery.

17. The Exempt Ego is the person who says, “None of this applies to me. I am going to skip ahead to another post so I can find something that is really compelling.”

In fact, I do not exempt you, I am sure that is what you have already done and are not even reading this line. The exempt person is above it all, thinking he or she does not need to do any self-work. That person is un-teachable.

18. The Dissenting Ego practices slander and animosity. This is an egotistical person who gossips in the office and among relatives, stirring up dissension and discord even on Facebook. This person carries animosity in his or her heart, which is begrudging, resentful, bitter, and unforgiving. It is a pathetic, tormenting, and unhappy way to live.

And again, who wants to work with people like that? Nobody! Who wants to do business with people like that? Nobody! Who wants to live with somebody like that? See previous answers.

Take off that disguise and throw it out the door! Ego will keep you broke for the rest of your life. It will not save you, but it will destroy you. Ego comes from pain. We have all been through struggles. We have all been through painful experiences – emotional pain, mental pain, and physical pain. The ego is there to protect us from experiencing the same kind of pain again. It creates a wall of protection around us.

But the problem is all that enthusiasm, persistence, adventure, and faith that we naturally were born with gets totally pushed down and covered with crap! Our egos keep us protected, but inside we are suffering. The ego needs a sense of identity…so it will fight for its existence in our mind.

You have to weigh your ego against your bank account. You have to take off that pathetic ego and toss it away.

Make a commitment to stop hurting yourself, to stop hurting people and to be someone who is building people up and creating good relationships. Be a source to other people. Be part of a rare breed of people who is achieving success and wealth while honoring others.

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About Ricky

Ricky Figueroa is a Multi-Passionate Online Entrepreneur, Founder of The CEO Influence Blog & Promoter of a 90 Day Health Challenge that allows people to LOSE WEIGHT, gain muscle, GET FIT, win prizes, and SAVE MONEY all at the same time.

The CEO Influence Blog | 90-Day Health Challenge | Facebook | Twitter

Do you feel inadequate? Are your actions impulsive and as a result, you make bad decisions? Have limiting beliefs, procrastination, opinions of others and just plain old fear, kept you from breaking through to success? For the most part, many of us are plagued by an array of ideas, thoughts and conditioning that no longer serve us.

My coach once told me that as you go through life and look back on the events of your life, you will see that you’ve been in a race against yourself. You are in a race to figure out how to stop being a victim of circumstance and finally start a conscious creating or living of your life as oppose to life happening by default.

You are in a race with yourself to decide or figure out your calling or purpose in life before you die. You are in a race to finally become aware that your thoughts create your life and that you’ve always been in control. You are in a race against yourself to finally embrace your magnificence and glory, to remember your power to create and manifest your wants and desires at will, to tap into the void of infinite increase, beauty, and abundance in aspects of your life.

Have you ever wondered, “Am I ever going to get this shit right? I’m getting older. I keep doing the same stuff and keep getting the same results.” Do you feel like you’re stuck…on stupid… like you’ve fallen and can’t get up? Do you give excuses and come up with every reason not to do something? Or do you choose to do nothing instead, because you can’t mess up or fail if you do nothing? You can’t be ridiculed or made fun of if you don’t participate and you’re OK with that.

You see other people who appear to have their lives together. Everyone has ups and downs, you just seem to be down more than up. So what’s it going to take for you to get your ass off my shoulders and get it in gear? Where do you start?

The answer is simple. Start with self, end with self. Get centered, grounded, relaxed and return to nature. Return to infinite growth, health, prosperity, abundance, awareness, love, wonder, excitement and beauty. Reconnect with the well being that is inherent in all things, including you. From that point, be the energy you want to experience and share it with others.

All interactions in life are due to your involvement with the energy around you. There is an inherent flow of well being that is available to each of us. As you lower your resistance, you allow that well being to flow more naturally. As you move forward with positive deliberate intention, decide the love and abundance you want to experience and share it with others, life will unfold as you desire.

For example, if you want to be a giver of peace and love, you must be the experience of peace and love first, so you have it to share with others. The race started when you were born. And until you decide, remember, reclaim your magnificence, glory, and abundance that was meant for everyone to enjoy, your life will continue to unfold as it has.

“All growth comes from within. This is evident in all of nature. Ever plant, every animal, every human is a testament to this great law and the error of the ages is looking for strength or power from without.” Neale Donald Walsch

Why do so many people make excuses about there life and do nothing to change it? Has complaining and blaming changed your life for the better? Do you continue to ask yourself, why am I still in the same dead end job, in the same financial situation, at the same time, every year?

With so many distractions and different point of views on how you should look, think, and act, one could easily become confused. Think about the different sources of ideas that bombard your mind like TV, radio, media, your parents, social conditioning, teachers, and preachers.

This can become confusing because you’re really, not sure, about your purpose in life. You do not have a clear picture about what you want to have, do, and be. You begin making excuses for not having your wants and desires. You look for outside reasons to explain why you didn’t complete a goal, why your relationship or marriage didn’t work, or why you are always unhappy. You blame every outside condition, when the real problem is you.

You decided to eat that pint of ice cream, you decided to stay in that abusive relationship, you decided to remain at that dead end job instead of pursing your dreams, you decided to drop out of school. Due to your thoughts and actions that produce the same unwanted results, you continue to be a victim. You have become a victim of your non serving reoccurring thoughts and habits.

So in order to change the way you do things, you must change the way you view things. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. “Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind. Zig Ziglar“

You have to stop the complaining and blaming. The results of your life are due to the thoughts you’ve had about your life up to this point. If the thoughts you have now were going to bring about a different result, it would have happened by now. You have the ability to have, do and be whatever you desire. So how do you break through to success?

To create the life you desire, you have to be willing to take responsibility for the results of your life. Take time to become consciously aware of your thoughts and feelings. Instead of reacting to events and circumstances, create the events and circumstances by deciding, in advance, what you want to have, do, and be. When you are consciously aware of where your are, you know where you’d like to be and have a sense of direction of how to get there, nothing can stand in your way.

So this lack of control over your life experience is due to not knowing and not deciding which direction you’re headed. By not paying attention to your feelings and emotions, you often tend to move away from where you want to be. Your feelings and emotions are a constant reminder of your point of attraction. What you think about, you bring about.

Having an attitude of gratitude is a great way to bring all the good you desire into your life. As you practice giving thanks for the good you have in life, more of the same will show up. For instance, give thanks for waking up this morning, having a friend or parent to call and say you love them, being able to see, hear, feel, taste, speak, use of all your fingers and toes, a roof over your head, knowing and being surrounded by people who love you, your health, your parents and siblings, the sun, the rain, the abundant beauty in nature. The more things you give thanks for, the more things show up to be thankful of in your life experience.

In this instance, you are now thinking different thoughts that serve you, attracting and creating people, places, circumstances, and events that will take you higher and higher. The more time you spend appreciating and giving thanks, the less resistance you’ll experience in life. The less resistance you experience in life, the better your life will be. Resistance is any thought, word or feeling that is the opposite of what you want.

Having gratitude is a simple technique to assist you in tapping into the infinite abundance, love and joy available to everyone. Decide what you want and be clear about what you want. Remember your feelings and emotions, and allow them to guide you to a happier place.

The Big Shift

Every aspect of my life has changed over the past dozen years. Way back in early 2000 I recall looking out the window of my corner office at the global advertising conglomerate where I worked. I had recently been promoted to Executive Vice President and received a whopping pay raise. Outside my office sat my beautiful assistant. On the surface, life seemed great, but something was gnawing at me inside, telling me that this was not my path. I listened and asked the Universe to do what was necessary to set me on the right trail for this life. As they say, be careful of what you ask for.

Six months later my world turned upside down. I was out of work for a brief time and went from sitting behind a big desk to sitting on the floor screwing my desk together at a start up. I was learning the digital side of business on the run and it was a challenge. At home my relationship was falling apart and it finally ended. I was alone in a house with a leaky roof and peeling paint. I was alone, angry, and confused, but I remembered my asking to be placed on the right path.

Everything is energy, but do we understand how to use it?

Science shows us that everything is made up of energy and it is the building block of all matter. I soon discovered how this was relevant in my life. A few months after my new low point I stopped at a kiosk at a street fair where a diminutive man was doing what he called “sensei” on a runner’s strained calf. I asked about it and the man told me how he could transmute energy through his hands. He showed me how it worked. I signed up for his mailing list and soon began receiving flyers about various forms of holistic energy practices. I read the flyers about Reiki and considered it as a way to give back. A Reiki practitioner transmutes energy through his palms to another individual in an effort to break down blockages and allow the energy meridians to flow. Sounds like a mouthful, but it’s quite simple if you are open-minded to the concept. And I was. Within a year I was certified in Reiki One and over the next eight years I became a Reiki Master Teacher. I also studied hypnosis and received certification as an Advanced Clinical master Hypnotist. I love both practices. They are fun and they help other people and myself. You can do self-hypnosis and self-Reiki and they really work. My energy has never been higher and I feel great.

I pursued my day job in marketing and advertising and over time reached the highest heights along with some lows also, but the energy work has always given me a firm foundation. The combination of Reiki and hypnosis has forever changed my perception of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness and I am forever thankful for these gifts.

So what’s the point?

Working with energy – studying, reading, practicing, and meditating taught me about light and darkness. We live in a world that celebrates darkness just a bit too much. But light is more powerful than darkness and if your intentions are to learn and share and spread kindness, you will receive guidance. I guarantee it.

I ran three marathons in five years, wrote two novels, and worked my way back into advertising after a series of challenging jobs and an eight-year layoff from the core business. I became President of an agency within two years of being hired as a part-time consultant. My first novel was rejected for three years, so I wrote another one. Two years later ninety agents rejected my second novel. Then suddenly I landed one. But, it was not my time and let’s just say that my agent was not right for me. I kept plugging along and had a great group of supporters.

Finally, on my own I found a publisher for my novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE. Even then, we had problems with the first printing. Nothing was easy, even with a great team pushing me onward. Then, a few weeks ago the book received a glowing review from Publishers Weekly and the phone began to ring. Let’s just say that it’s happening.

The point – yes, there is a point. Be patient, believe in yourself and never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot accomplish. I do not think I would have been able to continue through so many challenges without having learned to quiet my mind and be open to inner guidance. That’s really what energy practices like Reiki and hypnosis really do. They help you get the answers you are seeking. But you have to believe and always see yourself as part of everything. Oh, and be open to receiving, you’ll be surprised at what life can bring your way.

ARE YOU OPEN TO WHAT ENERGY WORK CAN DO FOR YOU?

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About Robert

Robert Manni is President of advertising agency Agent16 in midtown Manhattan. For the past two decades he has watched, played and succeeded in Madison Avenue’s relentlessly changing game. A true devotee of New York City, Robert is inspired by and remains in awe of its people, energy, attitude, and romantic backdrop. He is a world traveler, Reiki Master and teacher, certified advanced clinical Master Hypnotist, graduate of the Jose Silva Method/Life System, NYC Marathoner, and a bona fide ‘Guy’s Guy’ who somehow survived twenty years of single life in the big city.

THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE is Robert’s debut novel. He is currently working on his second book. Visit his website at robertmanni.com for up-to-date news, to read his blog and check out his videos. You can also become a fan on facebook.com/RobertManniAuthor, or follow Robert on Twitter.com/RobertManni.

You can also find Robert on Goodreads and Youtube.

Reviews
http://www.robertmanni.com/reviews

Press/Media
http://www.robertmanni.com/media

Excerpt
http://robertmanni.com/excerpt

Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlwuIh1C6Tk&feature=channel_video_title

Relationship marketing is all about building long-term relationships with customers, prospective customers and business associates. Sending business thank you notes really makes a lasting impression and can help increase your bottom line if and when you get it right!

You can drive repeat business by simply using thank you notes and take your business to a whole new level! It’s all about going the extra mile … and it works because people want to continue doing business with people who make this extra effort.

Yet many entrepreneurs, small business owners and sales professionals fail to grasp the simple fact that they need to show their customers how grateful they are for their business (without turning every letter or email into a product push). A thank you card after a referral or a sale helps to make customers feel valued and appreciated.

I have a simple program that allows me to recognize 10 people every month for anything from showing appreciation for business, to having a birthday or special occasion, to sympathy for lost ones, and the list goes on. I know that if I can think of 10 people, it has been a good month and I have every right to be thankful!

If we are to achieve our goals in this competitive world, we cannot underestimate the power saying thank you in business. Become a card sender today and not only will your attitude change about your business, it will change your outlook on life as well! And that’s a good thing…..

Jerilyn McDonald is CEO & President, JM Unlimited Inc, organized for professional acting and providing creative marketing services entrepreneurs, small business owners and sales professionals. She can be seen on stage and screen in and around Charlotte, and especially
loves Broadway Musical Theatre.

Jerilyn particularly enjoys working with other actors, artists, authors, photographers, women business owners, and non-profits, providing creative marketing and business ownership strategies. Her primary business tool to accomplish these goals is SendOutCards, an online greeting card, photo and gifting service, that allows individuals, businesses and organizations the ability to send out appreciation and related sentiments quickly, thoughtfully, creatively and economically to anyone in the world!

Jerilyn is native Texan (proud of it!) but has called Charlotte home for many years. She is blessed with a loving, supportive family and enjoy traveling any chance she gets. She is growing a worldwide customer base of happy, creative card senders and looks forward to the next one she can help get started!

Reach her by:

www.becomeacardsender.com
www.marketyourarts.com
email: jerilynmcdonald@gmail.com
http://Twitter.com/JerilynMcDonald
http://Facebook.com/JerilynMcDonaldUnlimited

Have you ever met someone and knew instantly, that you connected with that person? Have you ever met someone and instantly knew that you should head in the other direction? Without saying a word, you got this vibe or energy from the other person and you just knew something, one way of the other. What is this unexplained force of nature?

These are called non verbal signs, communication or vibration. Here’s another example. Imagine walking down the street while approaching a gate or fence. The hair on the back of your neck stands up and before you even hear or see it, you sense a ferocious dog behind the fence.

These non verbal signs or vibrations are your inner guidance system assisting you as you navigate through life. These same vibrations and signs come in a more direct manor and could stand the same attention and response. Which brings me to today’s topic. When people show you who they are, believe them.

I recall a relationship I had with this particular young lady. She was well to do, soft spoken and carried herself with a sense of pride. We met at a football game. I was there with some friends and she was there watching a cousin participating in the game.

I was sitting a few rows in front of her. I looked over my left shoulder and wow, there she was. I told one of the guys I was sitting with that I was going to say hello. I got up, went over and introduced myself. Hello, how are you? My name’s Keith. I shook her hand and then I shook her friends hand. She said her name was Tonya and her friends name was DJ.

We talked a little longer and exchanged numbers. She told me that she was a model and was out of town a lot. That made it real challenging to get some me time in. But through our conversations and encounters, we grew closer.

She began to tell me a certain day and time in which she’d be in town but wouldn’t show up. No phone call. Weeks would go by and my text messages weren’t being returned. My voice mails weren’t responded to. I knew I was dialing the right number. I typed it in perfectly.

I found myself not wanting to go take a shower because I was afraid that I would miss her call. I didn’t want to leave the house just in case she stopped by. This became debilitating and unhealthy.

Then it dawned on me. She told me that she was on the road a lot. She told me that her profession was more important to her. She showed me what she was passionate about. And I was mad because I had invested so much time thinking that she would change.

When someone tells you “I’m crazy,” or “I’m quiet until I get to know you”, believe them. They know themselves better than you do. If someone tells you “I’m very outgoing and flirtatious,” be that as it may, you might want to believe them.

Life gives you all types of signals to warn you, assist you, protect you, and help you. The challenge is recognizing the signs and taking heed before you set yourself up for the big hurt.

ESCAPING FROM THE “I’M STUCK MUCK”

WHEN YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE DRAMA

Think of an interaction with another person that didn’t go well. Did you feel powerless or helpless? Did all options feel unattractive? If so, you may have been stuck in one of three roles: the Bad Guy, the Victim, or the Rescuer. Imagine a triangle. In one corner lurks the Bad Guy (the Perpetrator). In another corner cowers the Victim, and in the third, the Rescuer is poised to spring into action. In the middle of the triangle hover Guilt and Blame. Now notice how you felt and what mind chatter you were listening to. Whoa, don’t bolt! Keep noticing. Noticing gives you distance which gives you power to get out of the drama triangle that has so captured your attention.

Yes, there’s a way to get out of the drama triangle. And not just in hind sight. But first we have to notice we’re in it. How do we know? Just check your gut. Do you feel constricted around your stomach? Your heart? Are your shoulders tight? Is your breath shallow? Do you notice any discomfort at all? If you do, chances are good you’re in the drama triangle. The most important step toward getting out is noticing that you’re in!

When you stop to notice and observe, your brain cools down. Look again at that interaction that didn’t go well. Was guilt or blame present? If so, it’s definite. The drama triangle has been created. By creating, or agreeing to join in the triangle, you have just handed over control of your life to someone or something outside of you. Drama, pain, and grief will be present. Not cool, right?

Nope, not cool. Once in, we play all three roles, rotating around…and around…and around.

Sometimes we think “I’m just being kind and compassionate, and helpful.” We don’t see that we’re playing the Rescuer role. However, rescuing is different from empowering another person. When we rescue someone, we are giving them the message they are inadequate and incompetent without our assistance. If we empower someone they experience “I did it myself, but I wasn’t alone.” Do you agree the two experiences are vastly different?

We can even dance the drama triangle dance all by ourselves about ourselves. “What a jerk I am for not seeing this!” is a Perpetrator remark. “Why does that always happen to me?” is a Victim lament.

You can exit this drama at any time no matter which of the three roles you’re playing. You need to take just two steps. You get out by:

1. Speaking your truth with respect
2. Declaring what you need, deciding what’s non-negotiable, and yielding on everything else

Telling the truth is not as easy as we may think. Which can get us back into the drama triangle. We often mix together what we should separate, namely truth and our interpretation of the truth. A helpful definition of “truth” is this: Truth equals the facts. The facts are what happened and what didn’t happen in physical reality. What we make the facts MEAN is our INTERPRETATION of the facts. It is NOT the truth. When we don’t make that distinction, we often make the drama triangle our psychological home. In coaching you can learn and practice telling the truth. And you can become masterful at recognizing when you are dead sure that your interpretation is the truth. How do you spell relief? How do you escape the “I’m stuck muck” of the drama triangle?

T E L L T H E T R U T H!

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Ingrid Martine, MA, PCC, author of The Un-Game and mind-ZENgineering coach works with organizations and individuals to empower them to move their lives from a 7 to 10 at work, home, and play. Find out more at: http://yourleadersedge.com/blog/. For her FREE report, “Reap the Harvest of a Quiet Mind: Empower Self, Empower Others”, or “Management Training for Business as Unusual”, visit: http://www.ingridmartinelifecoaching.com.

Connect with Ingrid:
Twitter http://www.Twitter.com/ingrid_martine
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Un-Game-Book/142780425822965
LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ingrid-martine/4/117/864

As I am waiting for my nails to dry at the local nail salon, I peruse the magazines to see the latest covers and headlines, the August (2011) issue of The Oprah Magazine, main story is, “Let Your Intuition be your Guide”, I am instantly pulled in and want to devour every word! My nails are wet so I must wait, but it is all I can think about as I run into my local bookstore to get my hands on a copy. I have been an intuitive all of my life, yet to see it on the cover of Oprah’s magazine that millions read religiously is like winning the lottery! Throughout my years studying, coaching, teaching and writing about intuition, it feels like the day has finally come where people are realizing we all have it, some are simply more attuned.

Messages from within is more than a gut feeling; our mind, body and the other senses are involved. The “sixth sense” is often misinterpreted because of antiquated stereotypes and judgments yet each of us is aware when we notice in our bodies first something just does not “feel” right. You know when you first meet someone, the moment you are in contact with their energy field if you like them or not, or some mysterious voice tells you to turn right and you later find out you avoided some catastrophe. The phrase “gut feeling’’ is the basic sixth sense we all have, yet in our fast paced modern world, it is easy to not hear and often goes ignored because it is not perceived as important as the other five senses. Each of us has at least one story where a message was given to us from within. As I read the article, I became aware of the validation we require when listening to our intuition, yet we trust our sense of smell, taste, hearing and taste without even thinking. Why is intuition perceived as negative and almost scary? Is Oprah on to something new?

If we had been taught about our intuitive nature like we are taught about our other senses, we would not require validation or think it is evil to “know” things, yet our society shunned those with attuned perceptions. The truth is we are born this way and yes, Oprah is on to something, she is trying to show her audience another way to look at things, to see the world. When you are attracted to someone there is a physical reaction in your body, your body senses attraction and fear the same way, the heart beat changes, there is a rush of chemical reaction and then our mind picks up the signal. Our bodies are our best guides, so why do we then NOT trust it? To begin understanding and hearing the messages from within takes little time and practice, and the first thing you need to do is let go of any and all attachments you have. Allow yourself to breath, be present and listen, not with your outer ears but your inner wisdom.

The best way to begin understanding intuition is to listen. We can attune our bodies to pick up the subtle messages from within. Meditation is a wonderful tool that allows your mind to quiet and as your minds quiets the messages are able to be received without judgment. Another tool I suggest is the Validation journal, a notebook where you write down all your thoughts that float in…imagine you are doing your makeup in the morning as something tells you to call and check on your mother, write it down, then pick up the phone! Nine times out of ten, your mother will tell you she was thinking of you! Get the point? Do not question it, just write it down, try this for a week, allow the thoughts to just float in. What is your inner wisdom trying to tell you? Take note also of the awareness in your body, any gut reactions or sensations. Stop guessing and start trusting you are getting valid information even it does not make sense right now. Another tool is your dreams, write down anything you can remember upon first waking, leave it and come back to it later, are there any messages? Try to remember colors, scents, people, and environment, write it all down. By doing these simple exercises you are tapping into inner wisdom which is where many answers to your questions are, remember you are unlocking a vast wealth of wisdom and it will take time to build upon, but the first thing is trusting yourself. Your inner wisdom contains messages from within and must be exercised everyday and like a muscle; the more you work it, the stronger it gets.

Inside each of us is an illuminated spark, a knowing; the spark that has guided us towards our right answers and that will never steer you wrong if we take the time to listen. By embracing this spark we are connecting to our inner wisdom, our truest nature and by understanding intuition we are connecting to the divine that is within us all. I am grateful Oprah is opening the minds of millions to this divine spark and who doesn’t trust Oprah?

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Tonya Melendez, is a world renowned Intuitive Spiritual Counselor, Teacher, Writer and psychic medium, with many years of practice and clients all over the World. I brings years of study with renowned teachers; Rev. Michael Beckwith, Edwene Gaines, Mary Manin Morrissey, Cheryl Richardson, Neale Donald Walsh, Rev. Jennifer Hadley, Sonia Choquette, Colette Baron-Reid, James Van Praggh and many more.

www.tarotlifecoach.com

Are you in the caregiver profession and dealing with caregiver stress? Do you feel torn or conflicted between the roles of caregiver and that of spouse, parent, child, or friend? Do you feel guilty, angry, or frustrated because you just can’t find any “me time”? Are you feeling alone in this situation and in need of replenishing the love and support you give?

With the increasing unemployment rate, Obama Care, and the fact that our parents are living longer, the reality of having to care for a parent is becoming all too apparent. Caregivers, in all facets of the word, are becoming more and more of a necessity.

Let us begin by getting to know what a caregiver does. A caregiver is someone who assumes the responsibilities of providing care to a loved one because of his or her inability to perform daily personal or household tasks as a result of illness, age, or disability. For instance, a spouse could assume the role of caregiver for the other spouse. Another example are adults caring for their parents and now taking on the parental role.

Playing the role of parent to a parent suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s disease can be very challenging. This idea may not have ever crossed your mind. For some, this can be overwhelming and having a release valve can be of major benefit. It can be very beneficial having someone to create a plan and assist you in coping with guilt, blame, and feelings of abandonment – support you with the right words to say and providing you with options to regain your life.

I recently had a conversation with a friend that is a caregiver coach, Donald Rai. A Caregiver Coach helps you plan, problem-solve, coordinate services, and cope with the daily challenges of caregiving. A Caregiver Coach helps you identify your priorities and refocus your energy to balance your life. Also, a Caregiver Coach knows and understands how relationships change when you are a caregiver and the importance of balancing your ever-changing roles of caregiver, spouse, parent, and friend.

He shared a very touching and personal story with me about his mother-in-law. She passed away in 2000 while in the hospital after having her 3rd open heart surgery. Even though, in his eyes, she was a very strong willed woman, he noticed that this time, she had lost the will to fight.

He stated that the 3 weeks following her surgery, the family came together as a unit. He also experienced a lot of resentment, bickering, and conflicts between the siblings and immediate family. Seeing the stress and frustration first hand, something dawned on him. He saw a need and decided to fill it.

The idea behind caregiver coach is in order to take better care of your loved one, you must take care of yourself first. This theme originated from a conference he attended in 97. The conference showcased several therapists and psychologists who all spoke around the same theme. In order to take better care of your patients, you must take care of self.

This story resonates with me because I had to care for my grandfather for a short while. He has a touch of dementia and is becoming complacent. Thank goodness he can still feed, clothe, and bathe himself, but at times he just forgets to take his medicines. He’s 85 years young and fortunately, I was able to relocate him to his son’s house who happens to be married to a nurse. So my grandfather couldn’t be in better hands.