Have you ever, on a Friday, wondered what you were going to do over the weekend just to realize on Sunday evening that you ended up doing nothing? That your lack of planning or direction ended up wasting precious and valuable time? Of course, you were comfortable, rejoicing in your freedom, but at the end of day, this lost time adds up and you’ll never get it back.

That’s how I felt with my life for many years.

I spent much time wondering what I was going to do with my life, frustrated that I wasn’t going anywhere, that I wasn’t utilizing my potential in the way it deserved to be. I was 23 years old, a single mother of two toddlers, with no degree that would give me the job I needed to provide my young children with what they needed. I would lay awake and hope for inspiration, for a way out.

My first break came as I was in church one day and I realized that I wasn’t utilizing my talents. I had gifts that I was meant to use, and I wasn’t. It was as if I was saving them for later and life was passing me by. Then, my father passed away unexpectedly and I realized that finishing my degree “eventually” had to be now. Even though many people around me thought I was insane, I went back to school to finish my teaching degree.

That was a great first step in the right direction and for 7 years, I was happy. My children had a better future ahead of them and I felt that I was fulfilling my purpose. Until the feeling of missing the mark hit me like a ton of bricks once more. My inspiration this time around was going to be the Oprah Winfrey Show. Even though I don’t remember what the episode was about, I remember that she was talking to me that day, that she made me feel that if I focused on something, anything and I took action, I could get somewhere. I had always wanted to experience living and working in the United States, so that’s what we did. My two children were now teenagers and we uprooted our lives and moved to North Carolina where I taught for 3 more years.

Following one’s path is a tricky thing, or at least mine is. Again, I felt like I was now off course and needed redirection.

My inspiration was now going to be the empowering lessons found in self-help books. I started thinking about what I wanted to achieve, even writing down what my life would be like when it was ideal and daydreaming about it. I would go to bed at night and imagine myself living my ideal life. To my amazement, my dream job landed on my lap. My dream had been to combine my three passions: my (now grown) children, teaching and traveling. Here I was now, working for an international training company and getting paid to visit my kids. Who would have thought that it would be possible?

However, being on the road this much also had its drawbacks and after three years, I was getting tired of planes and hotels and my husband wanted his wife back.

Again, back to the drawing board! What did I want now? What did my ideal life now look like?

As I was looking for new opportunities and dusting off my old books, I realized that the tool I had used to attract my ideal job was the book The Passion Test. It had transformed my life, so, I thought; why not teach others how to do the same?

Many of us feel stuck in our job, our relationship, our physical condition, and our lives! The sad thing is that as long as we are focused on the negative, we will likely never have the life we want, the life we are meant to have. Why? Because we are keeping our attention on the negative, on the things that we don’t want! Have you ever noticed that whatever you focus on just grows stronger? Whether that is a headache, being annoyed with someone or getting up in the morning feeling blue, the more attention we place on the negative emotion, the more it grows.

If we want to create new situations and new emotions for ourselves, we have to focus on what we want, not on what we don’t want.

Simple enough, right?

If it was, then everyone would be positive and happy. The problem is that most people don’t even know what they do want; they keep focusing on what they don’t want. And what do they get? More of what they don’t want.

The first step in creating your ideal life is clarity; being clear about what you want to create. The Passion Test is a simple and very effective tool in doing just that. It helps to lay your thoughts on paper and become clear about what you truly desire. Your intentions are now clear.

What happens now that you are clear about what you intend to create? Life and people get in the way of course.

It is one thing to know what we want, but it is sometimes very hard to have the discipline to make it happen. Think of someone wanting to lose weight having to choose between sitting down in front of the TV for an hour to watch her favorite show or go for a walk. Being clear about our intention is one thing, but at this point, keeping our eye on the goal, on the desired outcome is crucially important. If we want to actualize our intentions, we have to also keep our attention on them, consistently and relentlessly choosing in their favor. Only then can we hope to achieve what we set out to accomplish.

We sometimes hear people say that “God will provide” and he might, but we still have to put forth the effort. If I have no money, all the prayers in the world but no actions aren’t going to be enough to put food in my belly. I still have to do what I can, on top of praying -which is also giving my attention to my desired outcome- to get what I need. I need to take massive action, everything I can think of to get what I want, and then, let go. Let go and let God, understanding that what I wanted to create might not be exactly what the actual outcome will look like, but trusting that once I open myself up to what is my true essence is, the world will realign, allowing me to fulfill my purpose.

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We all get to a point in our lives when we need to take a leap of faith. Whether it’s for a relationship, career, health, or major decision of some kind. When we face a circumstance that challenges us to take a leap of faith and we decide to move ahead, we begin with an intention. Typically that intention is attached with good feelings towards a positive outcome.

What is a leap of faith? The basic definition is moving forward towards something, not knowing if it will succeed. You typically act with blind faith that it’s the right move for you at the time, even though there’s a chance it won’t work out with the results you hoped for.

Fueled with your positive intention and good feelings, this motivates you to make a decision, even if there are risks involved. I have personally had many times in my life when I chose to take a leap of faith. One of the most challenging was nearly a year ago, with my health. I had been diagnosed in 2007 with a rare debilitating disease. After trying the available treatments, my condition wasn’t improving, it was declining. I decided to go on blind faith that “something” was going to turn my illness around. A little over a year ago, I found out about a study for stem cell. This process involved using your own stem cells to essentially reboot your immune system. There were a lot of scary factors:

1) It was a study.
2) It was our own financial responsibility.
3) Most importantly, it would put a lot of stress on my body and there was no guarantee it would be successful.

I had to pray and meditate a lot to focus on what direction I wanted to go. I decided that I was going to take a leap of faith and have the stem cell done. When my fears would start to creep up, I turned my focus back to my original intention of hope and faith. It’s been almost a year since my stem cell transplant and I’ve already had a better year since 2007, both physically and mentally.

It can be easy to set an intention when you think about the beneficial outcome. After you start moving towards that goal, potential doubts and fears can distract you. Sometimes the fears become so overwhelming that you drag your feet or stop the process altogether. Of course, there are times that I started going towards something and realized, it wasn’t the right direction for me. However, if it’s because of fear, then I’m reacting out of that emotion instead of what I truly believe. Then there is the factor of someone talking you out of it because they believe they know what’s best for you. If you don’t listen and continue moving forward and it doesn’t work out, you get the “I told you so.” I’m not suggesting that you never listen to anyone else but there is a difference in letting other people dictate your life and considering a different perspective. Just remember, no one knows what’s best for you more than yourself. It’s easier to say how that football player should’ve ran for that touchdown when you’re sitting watching the game instead of playing it. If you feel with all your heart that you need to take a leap of faith, then by all rights, go for it! While you’re on that path and you need support to keep encouraging you along the way, there are many resources out there.

Here are a few:

-Faith (spiritual)
-Loved ones that are supportive.
-Life Coach
-Inspirational Books
-Vision Board

Even if taking your leap of faith doesn’t always turn out like you originally intended, it might point you towards another direction that’s even more beneficial. I personally believe that either way, it’s always positive because it carries a valuable lesson. Even if you fail, you will know the answer and you can focus on another avenue. There’s that saying, “Better to have tried and failed than have failed to try.” I personally like this one, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” (Henry Ford)

When you are faced with something that you know to your core can benefit you and enhance your life, maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith.

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Janelle is a true inspiration! To learn more about her, please click the links below:

Blog – http://shesingssweetly.com
Facebook Fan Page – http://www.facebook.com/pages/She-Sings-Sweetly/137950166324326
Subscribe to her Facebook Updates at – http://www.facebook.com/SheSingsSweetly
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Are you one of the millions of Americans that partake in self abuse? Have you experienced feelings of overwhelm or insecurity and find that your solution for dealing with it is to hurt yourself? Unfortunately you are not alone. Many Americans resort to harming themselves, self sabotage, and cutting the body as a way of dealing with stressful situations, problems, or emotional disorders.

This way of coping may provide you some temporary relief by way of redirecting your focus, releasing anger, or assisting you in expressing repressed and bottled up feelings. Although you may feel better for the time being, as soon as those feelings of overwhelm and stress return, urges to injure yourself well up inside you as to provide relief.

Many therapists equate self-harm to being like an addiction. You have a burning desire to stop, but you don’t know how. Some are so paralyzed by the temporary relief of self-harm, that they can’t give it up. Now, if that’s how you are coping with life, please understand you can receive assistance without harming yourself. There are countless venues which can provide support and guidance if you desire to stop. Regardless of the events in your life right now, you can learn to feel the fear and move forward in the face of adversity.

Self-abuse is a coping mechanism that many adopt to deal with guilt, rage, sadness, abandonment and numerous others. Self-abuse is also known by many other names, including, self injury, self-harm, deliberate self-harm, self mutilation, and para-suicidal behavior. I mean really think about it; hurting yourself to stop hurting for another reason doesn’t sound productive. It’s like breaking a finger to take your mind off being shot. It’s a distraction, but the underlying problem still exists. You’ve been shot and still need assistance. There are individuals that feel as though hurting themselves is the best alternative and the only way to deal with feelings of deep emotional pain.

The challenge is that self-harming provides a momentary release of the pain. It’s like throwing a Band-Aid in the ocean. It covers up a small part of the problem, but it does not address the root cause of this situation. The fact of the matter is that self injury nor cutting helps you with the stressors that fueled your desire to harm yourself in the beginning.

For those that find relief in self-harm, they do their very best to keep it a secret. Feelings of resentment and hatred may keep you from seeking out help or sharing this part of your life with friends and family. Believe me when I say this, suppressing your feelings, putting your wants and desires on the back burner will only create more undesired feelings. This can easily lead to bigger health and emotional problems. “If you don’t learn other ways to deal with emotional pain, it puts you at risk of bigger problems down the line, including major depression, drug and alcohol addiction, and suicide.” Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal

Below, I will discuss 3 ways to assist you in dealing with cutting and self-harm; figure out why you self-harm or cut, confide in someone you trust, and adopt new constructive behaviors.

1. Why I harm myself

The initial step to dealing with and overcoming self-harm or cutting is to understand why this is your chosen way of coping. Once we figure out what purpose self-harm or cutting serves, we can introduce other actions, techniques, and activities to meet those needs. It’s important to gain an understanding of your emotional center. In other words, how you feel and what feelings make you want to hurt or cut yourself. Your feelings are an easy indication of what you are thinking. If you’re feeling good, you must be thinking something positive, if you’re feeling bad, you must be thinking something negative.

Discover your emotional center

As you go throughout your day, ask yourself several times a day, how do I feel, what am I thinking. This will bring you back to the present moment and allow you to make decisions on how to deal with and correct the current situation. For instance, when you have urges to self-harm, ask yourself what am I thinking. Obviously, your thoughts are negative and your desire is to relieve the pain. This can be done by shifting your attention from negative thoughts to something positive. But you have to be aware of your thoughts so you can make the shift. So paying attention to your feelings or having the ability to identify and express what you are feeling is key in making the transition from hurting to healing.

Feelings can change as frequent as the direction of the wind. Hence the importance of being aware of when you are feeling good so you can maintain those thoughts. The mention of paying attention to your feelings can be scary to someone who is used to self-harm as a pain relief. You may think, it’s my feelings that got me in this situation in the first place. When really, it’s your decision to deal with pain by self-harm that got you in this situation.

2. Tell someone you trust and get help

If it is your desire to find assistance and support from cutting and self injury, please reach out to someone who can help. You are not alone in this fight. Confiding in someone can be a challenge but it can start the healing process. Remember, the urge to self harm can stem from emotional pain such as sadness, anger, shame, guilt, low self esteem, being unclear about your purpose in life, or feelings of abandonment and resentment.

I suggest you find someone that you trust, someone who makes you feel accepted and supported. You may decide to seek out a coach, a friend, a relative, a religious leader or teacher. Bringing this area of your life to light, can be uncomfortable and down-right unsettling. Do your best to stay encouraged even if the situation feels worse. It’s hard to confront and let go of any habit so give yourself credit for taking steps to correct this behavior.

When it comes to divulging this very personal and sensitive information, it can be emotionally exhausting. Your initial approach may not be face to face due to your understood nervousness about the subject. You may not understand why you self-harm and expecting someone else to understand can be just as challenging. So you want to give them time to process what you share with them. This information can be shocking to a friend or relative and their reactions, whatever they may be, are simply out of concern for you.

Focus on your feelings and the events that lead to self-harm. This will enable the person you confide in to step into your shoes and get a better picture as to how you interpret things. This can also be an eye opener to letting the other person know why you chose to tell them. Is your objective to get help, advise or simply let someone else know?

3. Fun techniques to replace self-harm

When it comes to handling painful situations and emotional distress, self-harm is your way of coping. In order to release that idea, it’s important to raise your awareness of other positive and healthy response methods whenever you begin feeling like it’s time to hurt or cut yourself.

If you are feeling disassociated, numb and need to feel sensation:
- Smell perfume; use aromatherapy to awaken your senses and ground yourself; Peppermint is stimulating
- Do relaxation exercises;
- Be mindful of your breathing, slowly inhaling and exhaling 10 times;
- Squeeze a rubber ball;

If you are feeling angry and frustrated:
- Exercise vigorously; go jogging, swimming, play tennis
- Play music loudly and dance, dance, dance
- Hit a punching bag or pillows
- Rip up a newspaper or telephone book
- Yell into a pillow, rant
- Throw out all your sharp objects and/or lighters, whatever you used to self-harm
- Clean your house, your car, your closets, do gardening, have sex

If you are feeling sad, depressed, hurt:
- Visualize a stop sign
- Write in a journal; scribble; do free association writing
- Draw; freestyle drawing or drawing to music
- Walk your dog; groom your pets
- Reach out and talk to a friend
- Take a bubble bath, put clean sheets on your bed and indulge in little luxuries
- Give yourself a manicure or pedicure
- Listen to uplifting music

“I do not believe that you can substitute self-harm with self-harm, thus I do not recommend that you in any way cause yourself pain to overcome your urge to cut or burn yourself; it may be all too tempting to go overboard and harm yourself just as much if not more but in a different manner.” Allie Bloom, David Schafer

Have you created a Fan Page, but now you’re wondering – “How Do I Get People to ‘Like’ my Page? If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with getting Fans. Here are 10 ways to get more Fans.

1. Create A Customized Welcome Page – Creating a Customized Welcome Page is an excellent way to increase your number of fans. Statistics show that it will help you turn 72% of your visitors into fans.

   To create a custom page, you can use the Facebook application, Static HTML iframe tabs.

   If you’re not familiar with HTML code, then you can go to Pagemodo.com. Pagemodo is free, and they have ready-made templates that you can use. So, all you have to do is just pick a template.

   REMINDER: Once you create your Custom Welcome Page, in order to get it to come up the 1st time someone visits your Fan page, you’ll need to: Login to Facebook, Go to your Fan Page, click “Edit Page,” click “Manage Permissions,” and change the Default Landing Tab to your Custom Welcome Page.

   There’s also a website, Woobox.com, where you can add sweepstakes, coupons, and more to your Fan page.

2. Email your current customer list & invite them to your new Fan page – You can send a nice email out to your current list letting them know about your new page, and you could say something like – I would be honored if you would click ‘like’ to become a fan of my new page (and make sure to include a link to your page).

3. Post Links on your Social Media Profiles like Twitter, LinkedIn, & Your Personal Profile on Facebook – For example, in your Bio on your Facebook Personal Profile, you could include something like: Come hang out with me on my Fan page at: http://facebook.com/______________. In your Twitter or LinkedIn Bio, you could type: Connect with me on FB at: http://facebook.com/____________.

4. Use Facebook as Your Page – When you login to Facebook, you can click the down arrow in the upper right-hand corner next to “Home”, then click “Use Facebook as Page”. When you click on this, you will now be interacting with people as your Page (NOT as you personally). So, a strategy that will help you get more fans is to click “Use Facebook as Page” and then comment on other Fan Pages as Your Page.

5. Use Facebook Ads – You can always purchase ads on Facebook to drive traffic to your Fan page. If you use this strategy, make sure to target your ads appropriately and start out small. Start out by only spending a few dollars a day and testing out different ads, so you can determine which ads work best for you (before you spend a lot of money).




6. Add the Facebook “Like” Box to your Website – When you add this to your website, then people can click “like” and become a fan of your Page (directly from your website). When people come to your website and they see that you have a large following on your Fan page, that also helps build up your credibility.

   To add the box, go to your Fan page, click “Edit Page,” click “Resources,” click “Use Social Plugins,” & click “Like Box.” Then, adjust the settings and click “Get Code.”

7. Ask Friends to Share your Page – All Fan pages have a “Share” link on the left-hand side of the page. You can always ask your friends to come to your page & click on the “Share” link. This way, your friends can share your page with their followers.

8. Add Your Fan Page Link to your Email Signature – If you do this, then everytime you send an email to someone, they’ll see your Fan Page link in your signature. So, they can easily click on the link to go to your Fan Page.

9. Invite Friends – On the right-hand side of every Fan page, there’s an “Invite Friends” link. Simply click on that link in order to invite your friends to become a Fan of your Page.

10. Create an Event Launching your Page – You can create an Event called something like: “Launch of the _______ Page”. When creating the Event, in the More Info section, you could type 1 sentence about your Fan page and then type: I would be honored if you could click ‘like’ to become a fan of my new page http://facebook.com/____________ (Always include a link to your page. If you don’t include the link, then people may not know where to go to access the page).

    When you’re Selecting the Guests to invite to your Event, you’ll see a link to “Add a Personal Message”. I recommend clicking on that link & typing the same thing again: I would be honored if you could click ‘like’ to become a fan of my new page http://facebook.com/____________

    If you have your Fan page Link in 2 places, there’s a better chance that your friends will click on it in order to become a fan.

“I’ve experienced several different healing methodologies over the years – counseling, self-help seminars, and I’ve read a lot – but none of them will work unless you really want to heal yourself and take action.” Lindsay Wagner

Do you have an unrealistic image of yourself? Have you been told that you will never amount to anything or that you are not worthy? Unworthiness is one of the most debilitating belief systems in effect in the world today. It corrupts, destroys, discourages, and inhibits your goals and lives from unfolding as you desire. You’ve become so disconnected from your feelings, so disillusioned, separated and alone, that you are afraid to take risks, speak up for yourself, or even take steps to follow your dreams because you don’t think you are worthy.

Many people become consumed with overeating, drinking, gambling, drugs, and prostitution in order to compensate for their low self esteem and unworthiness. You get stuck in a cycle of self defeating attitudes and actions. Early childhood experiences or being rejected and abandoned has conditioned you to believe that you are not worthy of your wants and desires. All the while, your inner self, emotional center or soul is crying out for freedom of expression, knowing, experiencing, and being.

The word esteem means to honor and respect. Developing respect and honor toward self is essential if you are going to create the life you want to live. By honoring and respecting self, you naturally do the same for others. To have encouraging, supportive interactions, relationships and confidence is the fundamental key of self worth and acceptance. So how do you overcome feelings of unworthiness and low self esteem?

For many that have experienced some kind of abuse, developing self esteem is the building block to emotional healing and recovery. Start by paying attention to the inner voice or message you give to yourself. For example, what responses do you say to yourself whenever you do something wrong or make a mistake? Do you verbally abuse yourself by saying things like, “you are dumb, that was stupid, or you should’ve known better?” Or, “I’m not worthy of a loving relationship because I’m overweight.” Or, “I’m not educated so I can’t compete with those who are,” or “I grew up poor, I don’t deserve to be abundant and prosperous.” When it comes to making decisions in a relationship or business, do you find yourself going along with the other persons choice and ignoring your own wants and desires? When you have a gut feeling about something, do you brush it off as unimportant? Are you constantly doubting or second guessing your decisions and find that others do the same?

Whenever you make a mistake, before you start belittling yourself, ask this question, “Is what I’m about to tell myself true all the time or is this just my experience?” “If you made a mistake, it’s alright, you didn’t do it on purpose. Forgive yourself. If you feel like there’s something wrong with you as a person, know that you didn’t become the way you are on purpose. Forgive yourself. The past is gone, you can’t change it. What you can do is start making changes today to become a better person tomorrow.” Styleshout

There are countless success stories of people who beat the odds and overcome tragedy, molestation, mental, physical, and sexual abuse. This is to illustrate that none of your limiting beliefs have any truth to them. Your limiting beliefs have actually become a crutch, a replacement or haven from the verbal, emotional or physical abuse you’ve experienced.

Here are some tips on letting go of unworthiness

-Question your beliefs about self. It’s important to address and become aware of the things you say to yourself. Your inner talk, emotional center, or feelings, are the simplest indication of whether your thoughts are positive or negative. If what you are thinking doesn’t serve you, let it go and replace those thoughts with thoughts that do serve you. It could be a thought or image as simple as the smile on the face of a baby, a sunrise, or envisioning yourself relaxing by the beach while sleeping in a hammock. Whatever the case maybe, do your best to replace the negative defeating thoughts with thoughts that empower and uplift.

-Expand Your Comfort Zone. I’ve read, heard and experienced so many successful speakers and authors say that everything you want and desire is outside of your comfort zone. So as long as you stay inside of your comfort zone, think the same thoughts that provided you the results you have now, you will continue to get the same results. Begin creating habits and ways of thinking that support you and take you closer to your goal. Have the courage to feel the fear and do it anyway.

-Follow your instinct. Very often you are victims of misguided conditioning. You suppress the most important and life sustaining part of your being which is your instincts. It’s common to see children being chastised for displays of anger and hatred. Over a period of time, as children suppress this part of their personality, they trade the momentary feelings of hatred and anger for guilt. As they get older, this brings about even more confusion and separation from their natural instincts which can create instability, powerlessness and low self esteem. They stop trusting the very basic essence of our existence, our instincts. So by paying attention to your intuition, gut feeling, hunch or notion, even if it feels uncomfortable, is actually taking you one step closer to accomplishing your goal.

“The opportunity is here, in this moment, for happiness, peace, expansion, clarity, awareness. There is no need to keep living in this secret hell. If you feel you are flawed and lacking, own it. Learn how to work intelligently with this experience. Ground yourself in the truth, and let the world see your shining face.” Gail Brenner

On Monday, Jan. 16, 2012, I had the opportunity to interview Sarah Jo Wood, Founder of Evolving Advisors, Inc. She shared helpful insights and tips explaining what attributed to her unbelievable success! She has been awarded internationally and cited on TV for her achievements. I am thankful for her time and all the Value she shared during this interview.


Question #1: Tell me a little bit about your background and what led you to where you are now

Sarah’s response: I’m a transplanted American living in Toronto, Canada for the last 30 years. After graduating from a University, I tried the Corporate route for about 3 Fortune 500 companies, and I could see the glass ceiling all too well – not to mention feeling claustrophobic. So, I went out on my own. My 1st venture had me digging in dirt as a plant wholesaler. My grandmother had taught me all about plants. She was a rare individual in that she studied the hybridization of rare orchids and she trekked through Africa and China studying plants, so I learned all about plants that way.

I started to save up my money, and I bought real estate. As my passion for real estate grew, I became an agent. That lasted 20 years, and I did very well in it. I learned through the school of hard knocks at first. It wasn’t easy. My 1st 2 years in real estate were really difficult. I didn’t think I’d make it. But, I learned and I persevered, and I just kept at it. I was like a dog with a bone. So, eventually, I was awarded internationally and cited on TV for my achievements.

Then, several years ago, my passion for Coaching superseded that of real estate. So, I referred out my real estate practice and went into Sales & Marketing Coaching. And I’ve just joined the internet community 7 months ago.

Altogether, I’ve authored 3 books: 1 in real estate, 2 in coaching. And then, my internet coach told me how important it was for me to have a target niche – saying I wouldn’t be effective until I had found my strength and power. So, she had me take tests and questionnaires and ask friends questions and do a lot of reflection over a 2 month period which was an extreme time of frustration for me because I kept coming up empty handed. I couldn’t find any answers, and I didn’t think I’d ever find my passion or strength. Then, one day it came to me that my passion had been in negotiations, but I didn’t see how that could apply to coaching – what did that have to do with coaching? Then, I dug a little bit deeper, and I realized that within negotiations, my forte had been in overcoming objections. So, that became my signature series, and also a specialized niche that I have today and the rest is history, so here I am.


Question #2: What are your top 6 must read books of all time?

Sarah’s response: My favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird. My other books that I love and have read over and over again are from Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill. Those are just re-reads for me every year.

I also read periodicals. I read Newsweek. I read Success Inc and Entrepreneur.


Question #3: What are you currently reading?

Sarah’s response: I’m reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s about staying in the present. It’s an incredible book. I would highly recommend it to anyone. It’s so powerful. I can’t even begin to describe it. It has you working at staying in the moment. If you can imagine keeping all sound out, keeping your senses out, not thinking about anything at all – just nothingness and being right in the present moment. You can keep sound in, you can think about sound, but not think about sound. The sound could be there, but you’re not thinking about it – if you know what I mean? I don’t know if this makes any sense, but it’s very meditative. It’s emptying your brain totally of all thought and all judgment. And, it’s just powerful. I’ve gotten up to about 60 seconds to be able to be in the “now” moment. It’s just so powerful to be able to do it. A strength comes over me when I do.

Eckhart Tolle has a whole selection – he’s got a great website – http://EckhartTolle.com

It’s worth checking out. He’s got quite a following. He has several other books, and he’s got a lot of DVD’s and CD’s.


Question #4: What sales CD’s do you recommend for new sales people?

Sarah’s response: I would recommend going to the Nightingale Conant Company – http://nightingale.com

I think that they sell a lot of good quality products. I would warn against the Law of Attraction with the following provisions: I believe in the laws of attraction, but I don’t think you can go sit on a mountain top and visualize what you want and expect them to come to you. I think there are some people who think that they can just do that, and it’s not going to happen. You have to put in the work and also visualize – have a Vision Board or have pictures. You have to have some kind of creative vision of what you want & have affirmations and have some kind of tools to get to where you want to go, but you have to do the work on top of it. I think there are a lot of misconceptions around the law of attraction.

I also love The Power of the Mind to Heal by Joan Borysenko. It’s excellent. It applies a little bit of medical as well as holistic healing and a lot of meditation, gentleness, and spiritual healing to the body. She believes that you know within yourself, within your own body what’s going on if you can find that message from within you.


Question #5: What colleagues/friends inspire you and challenge you to be a better person?

Sarah’s response: I have a girlfriend who gives me prayers, and she reminds me to pray more. It always helps me when I remember to pray. I don’t remember to pray a lot, so she’s there for me. When I call with a problem, she says “Well you know Sarah, here’s this prayer for you.” I don’t get to dump on her very much. I get a prayer instead. So, she’s like a life-saver to me. She listens to me for awhile, and then she just says, “What I find that helps me Sarah is this prayer.” Then, she’ll email it to me. We’ll say it over a few times together and that’s helpful. Then, she’ll call a few days later and ask how it’s going with the prayer. And I’ve said it a few times by then, and it does help. Prayer does help. It solves problems.

My other inspiration was my grandmother whose spirit of generosity was overflowing. She was just a wonderful woman.

Sarah’s response: I don’t go to the movies to be inspired, but I go to be entertained, and I love Gangster Flicks. I’m addicted to Breaking Bad.


Question #7: What motivational quotes and poems do you read/hang on your wall?

Sarah’s response: The Dalai Lama, and his quote would be: “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others, and if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

I, myself, write poems that are like Haiku poems. They follow a restraint of syllable count. So, for instance, the 1st stanza would be 5 syllables, the 2nd would be 7, and the 3rd would be 5. So, I try to follow that restraint, and I find that there’s a lot of beauty in limitation. So, I write a type of Haiku poetry. I can’t say that I’m a Haiku poet because I don’t have the art of centralization that they do – whereas they’ll write about a leaf, and the whole thing will be about a leaf. I’ll write about a varied subject. I’ll write about a ballerina or lemon pie. I went off course last year, and I wrote about Post Traumatic Syndrome with the soldiers and all kinds of things.

I posted 1 of my poems online on my blog. It’s a poem about winter in Canada.
http://www.evolvingadvisors.com/winter-in-toronto/

My other inspirations are my animals. I have 3 cats and a dog, and they’re very inspirational for me. I have a Yorkshire Terrier, 2 Burmese and a Tabby. My Yorkie is smart, affectionate. He does whatever you tell him. The cats and the dog endure each other. My Yorkie would like the cats to be friendlier. He tries, but they just endure him.


Question #8: Who are your hero’s? Why?

Sarah’s response: My heroes are the underdogs, the mentally ill, the people who can’t get ahead through no fault of their own. Why? Because they struggle more than I could ever know. I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t have the courage to do what they do.


Question #9: What are the top 5 things you’ve learned as a result of being in sales?

Sarah’s response: I’ve learned 1 main thing – that it isn’t as easy as it looks. Within each task, there are about 10 mini tasks. They have within them – many, many tasks. And within them, there are even more mini, mini tasks. So, there’s a lot of patience and endurance required.

When I start to do a new project, not being a project manager, I’m not aware of what all is entailed. And I start doing it and then I delve deeper and deeper and I see what all is entailed and I think I have it. Then, I find out, no, it requires more & more research here and there. I like it because I’m a very creative person, so I like delving into things. But, it can take a long time.


Question #10: What habits have you developed that have helped you become a better version of yourself?

Sarah’s response: Patience, Perseverance, & Endurance


Questions #11: What would be your personal 5 keys to success?

Sarah’s response: A Belief in Yourself, Prayer, Goal Setting, A Coach, & Consistency


Questions #12: What will it take to surpass 6 figures in this market?

Sarah’s response: Same answers as above – A Belief in Yourself, Prayer, Goal Setting, A Coach, & Consistency


Question #13: What is your life outcome?

Sarah’s response: I want to support a mentally ill person. I want to travel. I want to not have to worry about finances. I’d like to help my nieces and nephews. They’re financially strapped.


Question #14: Tell me about any upcoming events, products, or services that you’re offering.

Sarah’s response: Sure. I have 2 books, “How to Turn a No or a Maybe into a Yes!” It’s about responding to objections like “I’ll think it over,” “It’s too much money,” “Send me the information,” “You’re too new,” etc. I go into the anatomy of the objection and give you 16 essential tips of what to do, so you won’t leave money on the table. I also give you 52 pages of responses to use although you can craft them in your own authentic voice.

My 2nd book is “Magnetic Phrases.” I love words and the power they have to cause persuasion. So, I developed “Magnetic Phrases.” It is a toolkit of plugin phrases and hypnotic words to add to your website, landing page, newsletter, teleseminar or any advertising copy that you can think of. They can turn bland and boring into supercharged, sizzling, and sexy. They also get the creative juices running and make you feel like a copywriter. So you can basically enhance your copy at a fraction of the cost of a copywriter.

My website is: http://www.EvolvingAdvisors.com

After I’ve sold enough books, I will be offering a Tele-Series on the same topic of overcoming objections.

I also offer a book for real estate agents on overcoming objections.

In the fall, I will be hosting a Tele-Summit and look for my interviewing some fascinating people during Spring including yourself, Joy.

Do you have social media accounts, but you haven’t been able to generate much business from them? If so, you’re not alone. Most people are trying to figure this new communication medium out on their own. BIG MISTAKE!

Many entrepreneurs, small business owners and professionals focus their marketing to specific groups of people. By pinpointing audiences, this allows them to maximize the effectiveness of their programs and services so they can address multiple niches from different groups.

This brings us to the point that many internet marketers get caught up in defining and wrapping their hands around this thing called niche marketing.

What is niche marketing? Niche marketing is attempting to serve or sell a product to a specific group of people who are your target audience. A niche can be thought of like a section on a pie graph, which is reserved for a savvy investor with a certain amount of money to invest. In some charts, that niche is occupied by riskier portfolios and higher returns on investments. The entire chart could be used to display various stocks, bonds, mutual funds, but this little niche place can only hold smaller, more volatile investments.

In the same way, the market can be thought of as the huge chart where many goods can be bought and sold. The items on the chart are intended for a broader audience and larger viewing potential. But, any item in that little niche space is intended to focus your attention just on that one item and certainly a more specific audience. For example, let’s say you want to promote to 55 to 65 year old women. This happens to be the fastest growing population on Facebook. This will be your niche market.

So what is a target audience? An important part of marketing is to ensure you are delivering a message to be seen and heard by the people most likely to purchase your product — your target audience. So to define target audience; those most likely to be interested in what you have to offer. Having a well-defined target market is more important than ever with all the twists, turns and volatility of our current economy. “Small businesses can effectively compete with large companies by targeting a niche market.” Mandy Porta You do not have to alienate people that do not fit the potential buyers profile when targeting a specific market. Target marketing enables you to connect with potential clients, establish trust, likeability and visibility, while generating business more efficiently. “In this way you can concentrate your marketing dollars on a specific market that is more likely to buy from you than other markets.” Mandy Porta

Let’s look at the example above once again. The fastest growing segment on Facebook is 55 to 65 year old women. This would represent your niche market. Any women in that age group, that are single/married, wanting to connect with friends, family members and loved ones, interested in dating, health, exercise, make $55000 annually or want to learn how to use Facebook would be your target audience.

So your target audience, of course, would not only be 55 to 65 year old women on Facebook, but 55 to 65 year old women across the internet and world. Your goal would be to blog about issues that concern this age group. You want to share valuable content about activities that concern them and you want to use marketing verbiage that speaks to them. In other words, you want to understand the “triggers” that cause them to take action or buy, so you can deliver a focused message to meet their needs while presenting yourself as someone who genuinely cares.

To achieve your brand marketing goals, it is important to be a student of the game and know your target market. In order to do this, a market analysis and testing the market are required. This market analysis must be very detailed and provide you with the meaty, in depth information you need to better serve your target audience effectively. “By knowing your target audience you will be more effective, efficient, and confident when it comes time to connect with that audience.” Laura Lake

You also want to test your market. Get to know your competitors and carefully gauge the market’s receptiveness to your product, service or message. Review and read your competitors websites and articles. Figure out their page rank by using Alexa. Alexa tells you the page rank of any website. For example, Google has a page rank of 1 and Facebook has a page rank of 2. So the lower the better! This will help you determine the amount of traffic going to your competitors site. You want to look for selling points and pricing to get an idea where to start your price point for your products and services. Pay attention to delivery and other characteristics that caught your eye. This will give you a better feel for what you’re up against, along with giving you ideas on how to brand and market yourself.

“The power of your brand relies on the ability to focus. That is why defining your target market will help to strengthen your brand’s effectiveness. With niche marketing you are purposely building a business or website to fit in to a very specific niche. So, with a target audience the business comes first and then the targeting while with niche marketing you build a business around a profitable niche you have found and plan to market to.” Laura Lake

Have you always wanted to do what you love and get paid for it, but you’re just not sure how to discover your strengths and skills? You’re not alone. Many people struggle with this same issue. I remember trying out for chorus as a little boy. There were 3 other students from my class trying out as well. I already knew I couldn’t carry a note from me to you & I just wanted to get out of class. Well of course, I was not chosen to be a part of chorus group. I knew singing was not a skill or strength of mine; however, I still needed to figure out my true strengths.

Now you may recall when you were in school and it was time for report cards. What happened if you didn’t get the desired grade or straight A’s; a lot was said and maybe even done about that less than desirable grade, “right?” Let’s jump forward to now, as many of you are in the work force. What happens when it comes time to getting an evaluation? During your evaluation, your boss points out the areas not up to par. They are dissected, turned upside down and inside out. But the areas in which you performed well, get only a little bit of attention.

Conventional wisdom states we should work on improving our weaknesses. The problem with this is that it’s a complete waste of time and energy. Highly successful entrepreneurs, as well as top scientists, artists, athletes and entertainers throughout history have achieved greatness by focusing on their areas of strength.

Everyone has a natural aptitude in something. We all have inherent God given talents and gifts. We all have talents and a propensity to do something easier than others. You may excel working with the elderly, teaching children, growing plants or caring for mentally or physically disabled. Your special talent may involve calculations, you may have a knack for photography, athletic ability, love to write poetry, or working with animals. Some people work better when using their hands and are considered mechanically inclined. These are the areas in which you should explore and give your attention because they make you happy and feel good.

Let’s take my friend CJ for example. At the age of 13 as an 8th grader, he was invited to photograph the high school senior class trip because everyone knew how awesome of a photographer he was. Over the years, CJ has photographed and videoed weddings, birthday parties, different types of celebrations and the list goes on and on. CJ is currently in his seventies and fortunate for him, he realized a strength and passion at an early age. He’s been a photographer for over 60 years.

So let’s explore how you can discover your natural talents. Start by making a list of the activities that seem to come easy for you. Let’s call it “things I like to do” list. These are the things you can do that seem effortless. For example, you may find it easy to make friends or build rapport with strangers. So you may consider yourself a people person, connector, a match maker, or relationship guru.

You may discover that you have an infinity for interior design and sculpting. You notice that people you just met are in awe about your designs and ask if you will decorate every room of their home and they are willing to pay top dollar for your sculptures and insight. Think of the activities in life that just seem to come easy to you.

Second, make a list of things you do where time just seems to stand still. Think back when you were little and your mother checked in on you just to find you in the same spot entertaining yourself with the same tools and toys. When you are doing these activities, you may discover that several hours pass without you even noticing it. You may find yourself engulfed in a painting, constructing, writing poetry, building or creating a masterpiece of some sort. Friends, loved ones and family members have given you positive feedback, support and encouragement to continue doing what you’re doing. This is the beginning to finding your true passion in life.

Last but not least, write down all the activities that make you happy. I mean these activity makes you smile from ear to ear! These are the tasks you would do free of charge, just because they increase your happiness, excitement and fun. You would do it all day long and never seem to get tired. The passion, the fulfillment received from these tasks are characteristics and signs guiding you toward your purpose. As your desires and wants expand, continue to add to your list of “things I like.” This can serve as a form of positive reinforcement, focus, discipline or a place of mental retreat in the event you find yourself in a negative downward spiral and in need of a pick me up.

You can always delegate less meaningful tasks, tasks you don’t enjoy doing or just aren’t good at to members of your staff or your children. You can hire someone that specializes in the area in which you are weakest. Like if you just can’t see yourself spending the time to learn how to put tile in the shower, bathroom or kitchen, hire someone that is an expert at it. This frees up time for you to work in your core genius, the areas you are best at, and allows you to use your time most effectively.

So the next time your child brings home a report card, spend some time, figure out why and ask questions as to what is liked about the classes they do well in. As for the class(s) with the undesirable grade, inquire as to what is liked and not liked, ask if help is needed, evaluate the situation and move on.

We want to receive more of the good grades, behavior and interaction our children, friends and spouses’ are expressing, so showing appreciation and gratitude will promote more of the same. As for evaluations at work, remember to highlight and bring attention to the good being done so you will receive more of it. No one is good at everything. Think for a moment, if you are constantly working in areas that aren’t a strong suit, this can create a sea of unhappiness because you are constantly being reminded of your shortcomings.

“Invest your time and energy in being great at something. Really great. You will be happier. And the recipients of your work, your customers will reward you for your excellence. What a combination; doing what you love and people pay you for it! Focus on your strengths. Experience the immense satisfaction that comes with being superb at something.” Gary Lockwood

I can say without hesitation, that over the past 3 years which I’ve been using social media, I have easily met several thousands of coaches. Some have really wowed me with their techniques, skills, and knowledge; others with their benefits of service, structure, process, and awareness, and others with their ability to generate, befriend and build lasting personal and business relationships. And yes, there have been some that didn’t impress me at all. Hence, there really isn’t any defining factor between having the ability to create a booming coaching practice and being a wonderful coach.

Branding and Image

Whether you are an entrepreneur, spokesperson, mouth piece of the company or the face behind the voice, each play a role and are focused on building the brand name of their companies. In today’s economy, consumers want to hear the story of the entrepreneur and connect with them directly. They want to know what the company is about. They desire to know when and why you started the company, your purpose and long term vision and goal. Coupled with the countless social media platforms like LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook, this has enabled entrepreneurs to connect with, build relationships and generate lifetime loyal followers and clients on a global level in a matter of months. So as an entrepreneur, it is your goal to become the brand. It’s what you do, what you represent, and how you carry yourself.

Networking is paramount in generating brand awareness. Whether you are a model, a singer, a professional athlete, a teacher, or a coach, you are building relationships and need to know how to effectively communicate and get your point across. Branding, sales, and networking are a part of everything we do. If your intention is to build a business or personal relationship, you are selling to the other person why they should go out with you or do business with you.

So for the coaches who are experts in being emotionally intelligent with clients but seem to break out in cold sweats when you mention the word sales or cold calling, it is imperative you acquire the art and skill of selling. They make comments like “it is just not me, or “I’m not a salesperson.” You are already doing it when you have the clients following through on goal setting, attempting to get your kids to clean up their room, or persuade your friend to take dancing lessons. So you might as well extend that selling beyond your comfort zone, learn the skills and techniques to sell your coaching and allow those in need of your services to get it.

You should be connecting with other entrepreneurs, professionals, and business owners in your industry using social networks. This builds credibility, trust and visibility. In the event your content is applicable and compelling, others will re-post your content, which increases the opportunity for it to go viral. Going viral is when some form of social media, a blog or video, gets shared by millions on the social media platforms.

It’s important to make part of your interaction with others consist of commenting on their blogs, liking their posts on Facebook, re-tweeting their posts on Twitter and most of all constantly giving value. Give applicable advice people can use to better their situation. If you see something on their profile, like a book, a movie, an author, a musician, that is of interest to you, let them know you like it. That’s how you build rapport. By forming relationships with people in your target audience you can grow your business and create life-long loyal followers.

Let’s take Jerry Sandusky for instance. He was once a well respected coach and defensive coordinator at Penn State. Due to the recent events concerning his lack of integrity and sexual allegations, he has branded himself as untrustworthy, a child molester, and unfit to be around children. Now, of course, you probably do not want to brand yourself in this way, but you get the point. Well, let’s examine someone else, Oprah Winfrey. She’s known as a talk show host, a humanitarian, she’s recognized all over the world, she’s a billionaire, she helps others get started in show business, she has her own network and magazine. When you hear the word Oprah, you think talk show host, kind, giving, loving, billionaire. Oprah has become what she promotes; she has become her own brand. So when people hear Oprah’s name they automatically think about something she represents.

Branding yourself isn’t entirely about who you are as an individual, but mostly about what kind of services, products, and goods you offer. By developing your own brand, you’ll have control over the initial impression others form about you. Branding yourself keeps you up to date on current events in your chosen field, opens doors, and creates a lasting perception on clients. If you don’t brand yourself, someone else will and they may not have your best interest at heart.