3 Step Process to Forgiveness (Part 2)

In bringing that side of you to women, it’s not the real you. Suppressing feelings and emotions can lead to emotionally detaching from a relationship, or something worst, domestic violence. Neither of which is conductive to finding solutions or interacting positively.

I used to dream a lot and told my coach the experience of being molested was a reoccurring dream and the most vivid dream of all. I wasn’t sure what to do. My coach told me to replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. So after doing so, concerning events of my life, I was able to let go of the pain and suffering that plagued my mind.

I was angry with God. I asked God a million times, “why, how did you allow this to happen to me? I was only 4 or 5 years old.” I never got an answer. Until one day, I was 18 and a senior in high school.

I once again confided in someone about what happened. I told an older female cousin about the event and I told her who did it. She knew who he was because at one time or another, we were all at my grandmother’s house. I was able to share this event with her because it didn’t trouble me anymore. I had let go of the pain.

A few years later, my cousin told me she saw the individual that molested me. She stated that he was in a wheel chair. He had been hit by a drunk driver. When she told me that, my body went numb. After all the hatred, spite, pain, daggers I’d thrown at him, all the anguish, promiscuity, failed relationships and heart ache, I did not want to hear anything negative about him.

I wanted to hear some positive. I wanted to hear he was helping others cope with their events. I wanted to hear he had a family and was happily married. I wanted to hear he was assisting others in coping with some type of abuse. Anything positive! That’s when I knew I forgave him. That’s when I knew God had answered me. God granted me forgiveness.

Some may say that’s a hard lesson to learn. I say “It’s not a lesson I learned, it’s an awareness I acquired.” That’s when I knew the negative feelings and emotions tied to being molested were gone. In my heart, I wanted to hear something good about him.