How to Overcome a Lack of Self-Worth
By Joy Bing Fleming, MBA
Did you know that 2 out of 3 people in the world have low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth? This is a huge issue. Everyone at some point in their life has experienced low self-esteem. Here are some techniques to help you conquer this.
- Acknowledge that you have these negative thoughts. Don’t ignore them. Without 1st acknowledging these thoughts, you won’t be able to change them. It’s just like someone who maybe experiencing an addiction. The 1st step is to accept that you have the addiction.
- Remember when you 1st felt this way. You may have 1st felt this way because of something that was said to you when you were a child or when you were in school. There was a young lady who was #2 in her college class (Salutatorian), so this was a wonderful achievement. However, the only thing her father said to her that day was “Why weren’t you #1?” After that, no matter what this young lady did, she had a lack of confidence, and she always felt that she wasn’t good enough. If you’re able to remember when you 1st experienced these negative thoughts, this can help you get a better understanding of what’s causing them.
- Fill yourself up with love, acceptance, and approval. Imagine that you have a cup. Many people seek attention from others, and they are desperate for others to fill up their cup. In other words, they look to other people for acceptance, love, and approval. If you give yourself enough acceptance, you won’t need it from anyone else. You’ll be able to fill up your cup all by yourself.
Here’s a powerful exercise to help you: For 40 days straight, at the end of each day, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself all the positive things you did that day. Don’t take anything for granted. Give yourself credit for all of your accomplishments like helping someone, putting a smile on someone’s face, spending time with your children, and more. This is a great way to fill yourself up with love, acceptance, and approval.
- Make a list of all the things you like about yourself and recite this list everyday. It could be a list of positive affirmations. Always remember that the words “I am” are two of the most powerful words in the English language. Here are some examples:
I am intelligent.
I am loving, giving, and caring.
I am kind.
I am attractive.
I am worthy.
I am courageous.
I am exuding self-confidence. - Write down all of your accomplishments. Give yourself credit for all of the successes you’ve had in your life (like making the football team, graduating from high school or college, having children, raising your children, purchasing a home, helping out a friend in need, etc). Everyone has more successes in their lives than failures, but our brains naturally focus on the failures. So, build your self-confidence right now by acknowledging all of your successes in life (no matter how big or how small).
30 Minute “Exploration” Session.
This exactly is what I need. This is helpful, I just hope I can do the list.
This is something I have needed to work on for a while. I used to journal like crazy and it has dwindled. Been picked up and fallen off again over the past few years. I think its bc younger I felt okay about expressing myself however it needed to be done and getting older that got pushed to the side to get by or feeling it wasnt ok or that I was complaining. Like I had to journal a certain way. I think I will take these tips and find a way to put it into journaling. This year I have been finding my poetic voice again. Its time to find my own thoughts voice again. Thanks!
Great post, Joy. A terrific checklist to follow to get and/or stay out of that mindset. Thanks!
Really helpful thanks
WooooW, nice read…
This is good. I also tell myself and others on a daily basis to appreciate the things we have been blessed with and to not dwell on the things we don’t have.