You Choose Your Emotions

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “For every minute you are angry you loose sixty seconds of happiness”.

It’s a choice to be angry or happy. Both are mind body emotional states that are the result of some stimulus that you re-present in your brain and attach a meaning to it. This has a direct effect on the body. Your state determines your response and your response leads to an outcome.

When you change the meaning or the frame that you put around it, you change the state.

For example: You have a conversation with someone. The person does not agree with you. The meaning you attach to someone not agreeing with you may have been: ‘he’s doing it on purpose; he’s stupid; he’s just difficult, causing you to feel angry. When you feel angry, you raise your voice, may walk out, etc.

Now, when you change the meaning to: ‘he is understanding it differently; he has another way of looking at it – let me find out where he is coming from – will cause you to be open-minded and feel relaxed. When you feel relaxed and are open-minded the chances are excellent that you and the person will develop a long-term relationship that is harmonious and will leave you feeling happy.

When someone does or says something that makes us feel angry or uncomfortable, it is most likely something in ourselves that we don’t like that is reflected in the behaviour of another. The opposite is also true.

Your emotions are expressions of what you feel. You are more than your emotions.
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