Do You Have a Loser Mentality?

What has kept you from reaching your goals? Has it been the limiting beliefs that were conditioned in you from your parents, teachers, friends and relatives? Are you waiting for just the right time to make your move? Is it because you were not afforded the same opportunities due to growing up poor? Was one of your parents not as supportive as you would like? What excuse will you use to candy coat why you have not become a better you in all aspects?

Regardless of the excuse you use to explain for not having the healthy relationships, abundant lifestyle, and fulfillment you desire in life, it’s simply a reflection of the decisions you’ve made up to this point. The truth is that mom and dad were conditioned by the same run of the mill outside influences that conditioned us. The media, teachers, priests, the President, relatives, their parents, so on and so forth. They were told to go to school, get a good job, work for a corporation and invest in a retirement account.

We continue to practice habits that do not serve us anymore and haven’t taken the initiative to do something about it. And procrastination is a major obstacle that keeps us from moving forward in life. So mom and dad are not to blame. Nor are outside conditions like the weather, being of a specific race, the economy, the President, the media, or the right time just hasn’t come yet.

We have to take responsibility for our lives and stop complaining and blaming everyone else for the results of our life.

1. Make a list of everything you have to do. The act of writing down a goal, or putting fingertips to keyboard, reinforces the goal. The written goal is like having a measuring tape to judge your success. You can easily refer to this document or print out, daily or multiple times a day to gauge your progress. Writing allows you to reword or rework your goal. This is simply making an adjustment after an attempt has not provided you the results you wanted. This brings me to an example of Ready, Fire, Aim, in the book the Success Principles, by Jack Canfield. The idea behind ready, fire, aim, is to decide what you want, take action to get it, and make adjustments until you get it right. The old adage of ready, aim, fire requires you to wait until everything is perfectly lined up before you fire. Many people get stuck aiming and never fire. Your doing, attempts, practicing, brings about the results you desire.
2. Write an intention statement. The power of intention is magnified when you write a statement to reflect your intention. One of the most important principles of personal development and growth is to identify an intention. Decide what you want, be very detailed and clear about it and take action. Here’s an example of an intention statement. “I intend to enter this friendship with openness and appreciation.” Or, “I am fully engaged in the present task at hand.”
3. Form SMART Goals. SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-limited. Let’s say, you decide that you are going to release 30 pounds by June 30, 2011. Does this goal fit in the SMART formula? Let’s see. Is the goal specific? Yes, you stated that you will release 30 pounds by June 30, 2011. Is it measurable? Yes, on June 30, 2011, you can get on scale and weigh yourself. You will either be 30 pounds lighter or not. Is this goal attainable? Yes, you can lose 30 pounds in 2 and a half months. Is it a realistic goal? Yes. Is it on a time table? Yes, June 30, 2011, you will either be 30 pounds lighter or not. It’s important to be realistic with yourself. If you decided to be an outer space screen door repairman, you might want to see if that fits the SMART formula.
4. Promise yourself a reward. Each day, set aside some “me time.” Take 30 minutes to an hour to do something you like or love doing. Reward yourself for working 8, 10, or 12 hours today. Reward yourself for spending time with the wife and kids. If you like watching cartoons and eating a bowl of cereal, do that. If you enjoy watching something uplifting and inspirational, do that. If you want to take a walk after work or go to the park to enjoy nature and the scenery, do that. Do something everyday to reward yourself. The weekend can be so far away at times. If you just want 20 minutes of silence, you deserve it. So plan ahead of time to reward yourself each day. You deserve it!
5. Learn to Delegate. Each day, decide the items that must be accomplished. There are other activities that require completion but are not on the top of the list of important things to be done. Learn to delegate those activities to others that may like them or are better at doing them than you. Do not hesitate to give someone the opportunity to feel good about themselves. They are helping you, and it can provide them with a sense of importance in the process.