How do you restore your physical relationship with your partner?

By Guest Blogger, Dina Marais

When things change in a relationship, the physical side of it can change as well and making love can become unsatisfying. This can effect other aspects of the relationship as well.

The only way to restore a relationship, is to talk about it. To honestly discuss with each other what has changed for you without judgement and with the intention of understanding and moving forward to where you would like to be.

As we experience life’s changes, we change as well. Additions to the family, changing jobs, taking on new responsibilities, changes in health, finances all may have an impact on our values, beliefs, meanings, intentions and sense of self.

When we change, our expectations change as well. It is when our expectations are not met, that we experience emotions like feeling unsatisfied, frustrated, angry, etc.

Sex is not limited to the bedroom. It is about the whole process of relating to each other. The way you communicate to your partner, verbally and non-verbally. How you spend time together, how you show you care and how you make love.
We have preferences when we make love. Some people like to be talked into it, others like to make out.

• Some people like it to happen spontaneously, others like for it to be planned
• Some people like the lights on and others like the lights to be off
• Some like it serious while other people like to talk and laugh while making love
• Some like music and specific music at that, while others like it to be quiet.

Many of us have not really thought about this and more importantly, our partners cannot read our minds to know intuitively what our needs are. When you discuss this openly with your partner, you may discover opposites, for example, you may like the lights off and your partner may like the lights on.

Invite your partner to do this exercise with you:

• Close your eyes and imagine how you would enjoy your partner making love to you.
• List everything that turns you on.
• List everything that puts you off when making love
• Compare your lists and explore how you can compromise to satisfy both partners.

Doing this on a regular basis will strengthen your communication and deepen your bond.

Remember, be brutally honest, no judgement and keep it light and playful.

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Learn more about Dina and CoachingSelf.com – Click the links below:

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One thought on “How do you restore your physical relationship with your partner?

  • September 6, 2012 at 12:22 am
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    Great, practical information that is often overlooked in relationships. Communication is key, even if it’s something as “seemingly” simple as when we make love. Topics such as this are more important in a relationship than most people realize. Great post, looking forward to more!

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