Strengthening our decision-making muscles
By Guest Blogger, Eileen Lighthawk
Life is full of choices. As we grow and progress in our lives, we also tend to become more aware of just how many choices we actually have. And with that new awareness, we may also feel a bit overwhelmed.
With awareness of options comes more options. We have the option to develop new insecurities or we can enjoy a new appreciation for our amazing power of choice.
Casual observation, individual experience and scientific data have all shown us that being decisive makes people happier. If we have evidence that being decisive makes people happier, why do we sometimes avoid making decisions?
Fear.
We fear making a “bad” choice.
There are decisions which enhance our life force, and there are decisions and indecisions which deplete our life force.
Indecision is a decision to avoid directing the energy of your life.
The more clear we become about who we are and what we want in our experience, the easier it is to make choices that empower us.
Clarity aids decision making. Be clear with yourself about who you are and what you want in your life. Asking yourself questions, and answering them honestly, will automatically make your decision-making much easier.
As a side note: the more clear you become inside yourself, the easier it is to have clean and respectful relationships with others.
Our minds have the wonderful ability to imagine the long-term effect of a decision before we ever make a choice. How great is that!
If you have a clear vision inside yourself of who you are and where you’re heading, it’s much easier to tell what options support your vision, and which might not be the best for you, personally.
When faced with important decisions, ask yourself important questions.
Does this decision honor who I am becoming?
Which choice feels the most alive to me?
Does this align with my values?
Will it harm me?
Will it harm or endanger another?
Practice being decisive in the little things. Then, when the big choices come, you will already have much experience in trusting yourself and making wise decisions that are right for YOU.
Here is a quick reference sheet to help you feel more confident in your decisions.
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The wise decision-making process in a nutshell:
• Know yourself. Have a clear vision of who you are and what you want.
• Ask yourself important questions. This will narrow your options and give you more clarity.
• Give yourself a deadline by which you will make your decision. (Seconds for a simple decision. 24 hours for an important decision. 3 days for the really big ones.)
• Narrow your decision down to the 2 best options.
• Mentally project the possible future results of each choice.
• Feel the choices in your body. Which one feels the most expansive?
• Sleep on it. Turn off your brain and expect that you will KNOW when you wake up. (Hey, it worked for Einstein!)
• Decide.
• Give yourself an exit strategy. Commit to your choice for an extended period of time. Be “all in,” without feeling forever trapped. Make a plan to re-evaluate your options at a specific date far in the future.
• Stop mulling and start acting. By giving yourself an exit strategy, you have set a specific date for re-examining this decision. In the meantime, get out of your head and take action.
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Enjoy these tips. They are a gift of Loving clarity from Eileen Lighthawk. Eileen is a creative catalyst for positive change. You can learn more about her, ask questions, and find other helpful resources at her website: Transformaginal.com
Download the PDF version of the Decision Making Process by clicking here!
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RE: We fear making a “bad” choice.
It was my first job out of University. My boss would be so frustrated with me as I would angst and mind-frick myself about making the ‘perfect’ decision. Finally he asked me to do the following:
“Set a time that you will make the decision. Until then gather all the facts. Then make the best decision you can with the facts at hand. Know that even 5 minutes later something may come into your awareness that might change things. NO MATTER. At the moment you decided, you made the ‘perfect’ decision.”
Even tho I didn’t change overnight, it did make it easier to make a choice.
I love the tip about the Exit Strategy. No decision is etched in stone and to reevaluate a decision to see if it aligns with your dreams, life, etc. makes good sense. For instance, people go to college or get trained in a certain area thinking this is their occupation for life—it does not have to be.
I like the feeling of being enthusiastic about waking up every morning and living a life that aligns with my beliefs, goals and dreams.
Great post!